First Time, Next Time
by MirrorDede
Summary: Liam and Break are spending a nice evening together playing a word game, when things get snuggly. Liam wants to make love, and is surprised to learn that Break has no idea what that means.
1. Chapter 1

**A request from the kink meme:**

"

**LiamBreak - Yes, in that order. It's there first time making love, and Liam finds out that it's Break's first time.**

**I request total fluff. Please. 3**

"

''''

**First Time, Next Time**

The sun had set a few hours prior, just over the hill by Rainsworth manor. The day's work was done, and most of the household had retired to their rooms. Liam Lunettes, as usual, was reluctant to return to Barma manor for the evening, and using the heavy rain outside as an excuse, was whiling away the late evening hours in the companionship of one of his favorite people, Xerxes Break.

Liam was grateful that Lady Sharon had gone to bed, leaving the two men alone. Liam liked Sharon, but could never fully relax around her. Additionally, he noticed that Xerxes was much more likely to play the fool when the Lady was around. In those blessed moments when he could get Xerxes to himself, he was pleased to find that his friend would drop most of his pretense, and be as sincere and kind in private as he could be crazed and sadistic in public.

This rainy evening the two of them were in the room where Liam often stayed the night, playing a word game. The game required them to take turns coming up with words to fit in a grid, much like an early sort of Scrabble. Liam started with "purple;" Xerxes countered with "empty;" Liam added "yearning;" Xerxes came up with "lonely;" Liam chose "quiet;" while Xerxes' word was "cold."

"You certainly are coming up with some depressing words, tonight, Xerx," Liam commented.

"Does it really surprise you?" Xerxes looked down at his words. "I mean, the first word…empty…" He pointed to his empty eye socket and half-smiled. "Ah? Empty?"

"Well, sure." Liam nodded. "Still…are you feeling alright?"

Xerxes sighed and folded his arms around himself.

"I'm not sure I want to talk about how I…'feel'," he muttered.

Liam got up and sat down next to him on the sofa.

"Then we won't talk about it." Liam put his arm around Xerxes' narrow shoulders.

Xerxes looked up at him, a look of melancholy surprise in his eye. He put his hands on Liam's chest.

"You're so warm," he said, "and I'm feeling quite chilly. Would you mind-?" He slowly inched his hands around to Liam's back, while leaning his head forward.

"Not at all." Liam felt Xerxes's forehead against his neck, his breath on his collarbone, and pulled him closer. The two sat there like that for a long moment. Liam rubbed his cheek against the other man's silky white hair, taking in his scent.

"What are you doing, Liam?" Xerxes looked up at Liam strangely.

"I believe it's called 'snuggling,' Xerx." Liam took off his glasses and dropped them onto the end table.

"You certainly know a lot for such a young man," Xerxes said, smiling. "Ahoge Duke has taught you well, ah?"

"Now that's something _I_ would prefer not to talk about," Liam muttered, leaning back.

"Well, then let's go back to…snuggling?" Xerxes lay on top of Liam, wrapped his arms around his back and pressed his cheek against his chest. "I can feel your heart beating…" A smile crept onto his face and he sighed, "I like being with you, Liam."

_Did he just say he liked being with me?_ Liam was excited at the thought. He brought his hand up to the side of his friend's head and ran his fingers through his hair, and then became aware of an aroused sensation below his waist.

"Can you…as much as I'm enjoying this…" said Liam, "can you sit up for a moment?"

"Hmm?" Xerxes sat up and watched curiously as Liam tried to discretely arrange things in his trousers. "Really, Liam? Oh my…" Xerxes hid his grin behind his hand.

Liam blushed and tried to think of something to do to distract attention from his private parts. It didn't take long for him to come up with something. He took Xerxes' hand in his, leaned over, and kissed him on the lips, quickly at first, then deeper and more ardently.

Xerxes gasped between kisses, and clasped the other man's head in his hands. Consciously or not, he was pulling Liam's head away from his lips, toward his neck, collarbone, and chest. Liam tugged at the cravat and shirt that was in the way and let his lips linger along the delicate collarbone and creases at the edge of his neck. Xerxes trembled at the tickling touches. His mouth sought something to lick or suck and settled on his own fingers, which he bit and sucked to try to keep a potentially embarrassing moan from escaping his lips.

"Xerx, let's get in the bed," Liam said, exhaling audibly. Not waiting for an answer, he picked his friend up and carried him to the bed, laying him down gently.

"A-Are we going to sleep?" Xerxes asked, his voice betraying his disappointment.

"No, Idiot. We're going to make love."

Xerxes blinked a few times.

"Make…love? What does that mean exactly?"

Liam crinkled his eyebrows.

"You really don't know? Make love…you know, it's like…having sex?"

"I really have no idea," Xerxes said, worry lines creasing his forehead.

"You _must…_" Liam protested, and then noted the sad expression on his friend's face. "You mean…no one has ever touched you…intimately? At your age?"

"Of course not," Xerxes snorted, trying to build up a wall to hide his feelings, but his blushing cheeks gave him away. Liam touched those cheeks gently with his fingertips and gazed fervently into that one red eye.

"I would like to make love to you. Please? Will you…let me in?"

His cheeks flushed pinker than before.

"L-let you in…do you mean…let you into my heart? You're already _there_, Liam."

"Xerx, I'm happy to hear that, and you are definitely in my heart, too." Liam smiled warmly. "But, em… I was thinking of something else…more…physical?"

Xerxes grinned and then said,  
"Aha, I really can't imagine what you mean…or maybe…" _I am just too scared to imagine_. "After all…I mean…I didn't think that that two men could…"

Liam smiled and put his finger on his friend's lips to silence them.

"Just take off your clothes," he whispered.

"I'm a bit shy…" Xerxes said quietly, looking down at his pale, thin chest, which was partial exposed from earlier explorations. Liam pulled the sheet up and let it flutter down to cover him; that body he knew to be a temple of both strength and fragility…that body he wanted to know intimately, inside and out. Xerxes was grateful at this silent acceptance of his modesty and hastily pulled off his clothes underneath the sheet, quite curious what Liam had in mind.

"You too, Liam, ah?" suggested Xerxes.

"I'll be right back," Liam said, waltzing off to the washroom, where he undressed, put on a robe and brought back a small bottle of cooking oil he'd stashed away.

Xerxes looked at the bottle and raised an eyebrow.

"You'll like this," Liam assured, putting the bottle on the nightstand and dropping his robe to the floor.

"I do like it," Xerxes murmured, admiring Liam in all his naked glory. Liam dove under the covers and snuggled next to his friend for warmth. "I meant you'll like what I've got in the bottle."

"Looks like cooking oil, hmm? Are you planning to eat me?"

Xerxes nuzzled against his friend's neck and savored the novel – yet slightly nerve-wracking sensation - of being naked with someone. Liam smoothed his hands over the other man's back and down to his thighs, feeling the distinct texture of gooseflesh. Unsure if it was from cold or edginess, he reached down and pulled the blankets up over them both.

Putting his head under the covers, Liam planted a trail of kisses along his friend's exposed chest, belly, hipbones, thighs, knees, all the way down to his feet and back up again on the other side. Along the way he was thrilled by the mysterious contradiction that was the body of Xerxes Break: firm, but yielding; strong, but delicate; chilly in some places, but so warm in others. Also he was amazed at the passion that was stirring inside him as he grew intimately familiar with each crevice and bend in the other man's body.

"Xerx..." he whispered, when they were face to face and side by side again. "I want to feel inside you with my finger… and then if you're up for it…um…"

Xerxes cocked his head to one side.

"Feel inside me…where?"

Liam really didn't want to have to say it, but it was clear that Xerxes was going to make this difficult for him, whether on purpose or merely from sheer ignorance, he couldn't say. He was leaning toward the assumption that Xerxes truly was inexperienced because the look on his face was so candid.

"Up your bottom," Liam whispered urgently, his lips pressed together stiffly as if he'd just uttered a bad word. He pressed his hand firmly against his friend's backside and teased it along the crack so his message would be quite clear.

"Uhh…umm…you actually want to…touch me…_there_?"

Liam nodded and smiled nervously.

"Hoho, I don't know whether to be flattered or horrified, Liam."

"Be flattered. I'll just put one finger inside, to start with," he reached over to the night stand toward the bottle and deftly put some cooking oil on his finger. "It will hurt less if I use some of this."

Xerxes pulled the covers up to hide most of his face, but his eyebrows clearly conveyed nervous panic.

"You're serious," he said, astonished.

Liam stroked his hair with his free hand, trying to assure him.

"I'll go slow. It shouldn't hurt at all. In fact it will feel nice once you get used to it."

Liam weighed his urge to do something immediately with his oiled finger, with the fact that Xerxes was shaking all over, and found he couldn't make a choice.

"You'll need to relax a bit," Liam said, his free hand continuing to caress silky white hair.

"That's hard for me to do."

"I know." Liam traced the contour of his cheekbones and jaw with his fingers.

"You know I'm…k-kind of an emotional person at heart," Xerxes said, his voice quivering, "…though I try really hard not to be."

"I know."

"A-and getting so close to someone like this kind of scares me."

"I know," Liam reassured, his hand massaging his friend's shoulder.

"You know me so well, ah?" Xerxes laughed just a little.

"I do. That's why you should trust me with this. I promise I will not hurt you. If it hurts, please let me know."

Xerxes looked into Liam's warm brown eyes, then sighed deeply and closed his own eyes. His trembling all but ceased, he whispered, 

"Go ahead and-"

"Roll over then, Xerx."

Liam eagerly slipped under the covers and the two of them got into a spoons position. Xerxes bit his lip and felt the oiled finger of this man he trusted more than anyone else in the world press against this most intimate of bodily openings, then poke inside gently, slowly. Breathing deeply against the pressure, he felt exquisitely vulnerable. It was a feeling most terrifying, and yet…

"Does it hurt?" Liam inquired.

"I...I don't think so."

"Can I try…two fingers?"

"Mm…I suppose."

Liam inserted a second oiled finger and began feeling about and stretching the opening.

"You'll let me know if it hurts too much, won't you?" he asked.

"Right. It does hurt bit now actually," Xerxes confessed.

"Ohhh?" Concern oozed from Liam's voice. "I don't want to hurt you at all!" He removed his fingers and wiped them on a hanky, then snuggled up close to his friend, who rolled over to face him.

"Xerx…you look like you're going to cry…?"

"Don't say that," he pleaded, lip quavering. "It just makes me even more embarrassed."

"So sorry." Liam lifted up his lover's chin, kissed him on the lips and said despairingly, "I hope I didn't scare you away with all that poking and prodding." _I don't want to have come this far and then lose you._

"I'm not scared away from you at all, dear Liam. I just need sometime to…get used to this whole idea." He slid his arm under Liam's neck and kissed him on the forehead. "Maybe next time…I can let you go farther, ah?"

_Next time? There'll be a next time?_ Liam could hardly contain his excitement.

Xerxes nuzzled into his neck and whispered,

"Let's just do more of that…what did you call it…snuggling?"

Liam cuddled closer and stroked his friend's back, which had grown warm to the touch and pleasantly smooth. He rubbed his cheek against Xerxes' hair and smiled to himself.

_Next time…I'm looking forward to that. But for now I'll just enjoy…this. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Next Time**

Things had been a little weird between Liam and Xerxes ever since the "cooking oil incident," which is how Liam was referring to it in his mind. Xerxes was loathe to put a name to what had happened between them, and in fact, was reluctant to even think about it. But at night when he lay alone in bed, the memories came back to him – forcing their way in – and making it difficult for sleep to come.

He would lie in bed, remembering how Liam's fingers felt inside him, and the feeling was a mixture of pleasure and fear. _How could I have let him do that to me? Why would anyone want to touch me…there? _

During the day when the two men saw each other at meetings - or at tea, or passing each other in the hallway - Liam hardly dared to breathe. _What does he think of me now? He must think I'm crazy. Does anyone else suspect what we've done together? _He'd fidget in his seat and avoid everyone's gaze.

Xerxes would look directly at Liam, trying to gain some understanding._ He's cleaning his glasses even more than usual; ah yes…that's what he does when he's nervous._ For a man dedicated to smothering his own unpleasant emotions as best he could, Xerxes was surprisingly good at tuning into the emotions of the people around him. He knew very Liam well. And he knew that the only way they were going to clear the air between them was to have a frank discussion in private.

So he whispered into Liam's ear as they adjourned from a meeting:

"Meet me in the garden shed tomorrow after the sun rises above the lilacs, mm?"

He smiled and clapped Liam on the shoulder, and Liam smiled back, relieved that the silence between them was finally broken. And even more importantly, he had a _date_…with his favorite person in the world.

Liam had been waiting in the shed so long that he was practically asleep by the time a familiar voice startled him into full consciousness.

"So sorry I kept you waiting," Xerxes said, offering his friend a lollipop. "Sheryl-sama had me busy with some task…but now…I'm glad we could meet each other and talk."

"Talk?" Liam brushed a spider off his sleeve, then hastily unwrapped the lollipop and stuck it in his mouth. "About what?" The near-sleep had relaxed him and he was feeling unusually mellow.

Xerxes looked him in the eye.

"Well, I may be inexperienced in some ways of the world, but I'm not stupid. The last time we…met…you told me we were going to, erm, 'have sex' I think was the term you used?" He leaned forward to whisper that last bit in case anyone was nearby. Glancing out the window to the shed, then drawing the curtain closed, he continued, "I know that 'sex' must have something to do with 'sexual parts,' but we didn't do anything, erm, of _that_ sort. So I feel like we have some…unfinished business." He smiled slyly and took bite out of his lollipop.

Liam grinned back.

"Indeed we do."

"But one thing that's been troubling me," Xerxes said, looking more serious. "What you did to me that night…with your fingers? _Why?_ – "

"Because I like you." Liam pointed his lollipop at the white-haired man. "And I wanted to loosen you up so I can fuck you up the ass." _Frank talk…I'm good at it, sometimes_, thought Liam, crunching his lollipop.

Xerxes raised his eyebrows in surprise, and then laughed heartily for a long moment.

"Oh, now I understand…" He put his hands on Liam's shoulders. "You want to fuck me like I'm a woman, and that…is just a convenient hole, hmm?"

"Something like that. Unless you want to offer up your mouth, Xerx?" Liam said boldly, slipping his arms around his friend's waist. He tossed his lollipop stick on the floor and pressed his mouth into Xerxes', kissing him deeply, fervently, their tongues the flavor of grape candy.

A moment later, they pulled back and looked at each other longingly, trying to catch their breath.

Liam cleaned the steam off his glasses. "Meet me in my room, tonight, Xerx?"

"We'll finish what we started, ah?" Xerxes adjusted his cravat.

Liam nodded. The two men continued to steal furtive glances at each other while adjusting things in their trousers.

Xerxes looked around the shed. "Are you in a hurry to be some place?"

"Not at all." Liam smiled, understanding the hidden implication. He pushed the door to the shed firmly shut, and propped it closed with a shovel, so no one could walk in on them. "The only trouble is…I don't have any oil here and it may hurt you if I don't-."

"I don't mind being hurt." Xerxes pushed back his hair from his face, removed his jacket and tossed it aside.

Liam looked at that strong, bold facial expression – and recalled why he loved him so much. He remembered Xerxes when he first arrived from the Abyss, the rawness and intensity of his emotions when he was younger. He knew that despite his usual façade, the white-haired man was capable of passion beyond compare. He wanted to draw that passion out like a spider's thread, and weave it into something beautiful: an expression of utmost joy and pleasure.

"It's warm in here, ne?" Xerxes raised an eyebrow.

Liam came out of his reverie, wiped the sweat from his brow with a handkerchief and unbuttoned his jacket. Within moments, the two of them were naked from the waist down, wearing their shirts only for modesty's sake. Liam licked the sweat from the smooth place in front of Xerxes' ear, and then they pressed against each other; hands running through hair, lips on lips, hungrily devouring each other like captured prey.

_I could just…lose it…right here…holding you like this…_ Xerxes thought to himself, nuzzling and nibbling Liam's neck. _I don't want to lose it…to lose control. But I need this so badly…I had no idea how badly I needed it until now._

Liam pulled back and looked at his trembling friend, his lips half-parted, his eye half-closed. _He's getting to where I want him. But not yet…_

"Suck my fingers," he commanded, holding his index and middle finger together.

Xerxes grasped his hand and drew it close, enveloping the two fingers with his mouth and sucking them, slowly and sensually, till Liam was quivering. He spun his friend around and pressed his wet fingers into the other man's backside, probing carefully, till he found what he was looking for.

Xerxes gasped a little, then said,

"You treat me more gently than I deserve"

"Hmm, you're right. I keep forgetting what an annoying prick you can be."

Liam reached around with his free hand and found his friend's erection, then stroked the wet head of it, bringing the wetness down the shaft and up and down again until Xerxes let out an involuntary, stifled moan.

"I can't let you come yet," Liam whispered.

Ceasing his handwork, Liam forced his own erection into Xerxes' body with little guilt, knowing now that even if he hurt him, the pain would not be entirely unwelcome. _Pain is more familiar to this man than pleasure. I want to give him the gift of pleasure, but it must be wrapped in pain or he might not accept it._ He folded his arms around the other man and held him close, pushing himself in as deep as he could go. Xerxes let out a barely perceptible whimper and his knees buckled.

"Are you okay?"

"Keep holding me," Xerxes said, his voice shaking. "I don't know if I can stand up on my own."

Knowing he had the man he loved in such a vulnerable state increased Liam's fervor. He began with short thrusts, then added longer, deeper ones, his arms wrapped around his lover's stomach, his lover's hands placed on his, clenching, squeezing. Sweat dripped down their sides, drenching their shirts. Liam was concentrating so hard on his own sensations; at first he didn't notice that Xerxes was trying to get him to move his hands' attention back to his erection. Feeling remiss, Liam clasped the other man's length in his hand and began stroking once more. Xerxes shuddered and moaned, his breath coming quickly. Bound by the thread of need and unable to fight it any longer, Xerxes threw his head back against Liam's shoulder and let out an aching wail they could have heard all the way back to the manor house. Urged on by the sudden tightness and delicious moans, Liam felt his ardor pour into his friend's body, and groaned into the other man's neck, taking in the scent of his damp white hair.

The two men leaned into each other, trying to stay standing, their chests heaving. Then they came apart, collapsed into each other's arms and thanked each other with wet, lingering kisses. When their lips finally separated, a strand of saliva - like spider's silk - stretched taut between them, then broke.

###

P.S. Sorry I can't resist throwing in a surprise postscript:

Later that day, Gilbert snuck into the shed waiting for a rendezvous with – _Wait? What is that? _he thought._ A lollipop stick…two lollipop sticks on the floor…could Break have been here with someone?_ He shuddered. _That sound I heard earlier today…Break and Liam's shirts soaked with sweat when I saw them…oh. my. God._

###

_Writer's Note_: I realized after I wrote this scene in the shed that it was in some weird way a sequel to another shed scene I wrote between these two called _Break Me_.


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